A couple of days ago I went to a Doctors' Training Camp for HIV/AIDS. It was about an hour outside the city in a really poor, predominantly Muslim neighborhood. Calcutta is very religiously segregated. There are a few places that are almost entirely inhabited by Muslim people, but I had never seen anything like this. I think we might have been the only Hindus. The driver of the car became really tense, locked all the doors and rolled up the windows. At first I was somewhat resentful, but then I realized that his fear is rooted in experience of communal violence. The school where the camp was being held was underneath a huge mosque. Of course, everyone was very happy to see us, and the visit was completely uneventful, but it reminded me of how real the tension is here. The general feeling is that it takes one look, one angry word, for the uneasy peace to explode under the pressure of history.

Later that evening I went to see a beautifully staged Hindi play, called "Subarnalata", adapted from a Bengali novel by Ashapurna Devi. It is about a young Bengali housewife whose hopes and dreams are gradually destroyed by the traditional society she lives in. Pretty depressing. Especially since the novel was written in the early 19th century, but a lot of the issues are still a part of everyday life.

On a completely separate note, let me say that working in India is different. Office life here is funny. The other day there was a huge ruckus about why the teacups were so small. The Boy Who Makes Tea (it's his only duty in life, apparently) was called forward, and he was told that unless the teacups were bigger, no tea would be bought. This was a major issue. Another major discussion was centred around which way the roads were going (since they keep changing direction). Then, an HIV-positive couple showed up at the clinic with their seven-month-old daughter. She is too young to test, so we are hoping she escaped the virus. Everyone gathered around to make the baby laugh. She obliged, multiple times, and her parents were getting a little alarmed by the way we kept poking at her. It was a good day.

Morning

A couple of days ago I received a rare gift. Insomnia. Probably attributable to jetlag. I was spending the night at my friend's house, and she was fast asleep. It was 4:30am. I realized that lying down was not helping, so I took a chair out onto the balcony. She lives on the 9th floor, which is substantially high up in that part of Calcutta. The view is unobstructed and breathtaking. I sat out there for two hours, as morning stole upon the city and day began. The sounds are what I noticed most. The harsh cries of Calcutta's famous crows. A tough, urban breed of bird - I bet they use very foul language and possibly have a criminal underworld. No firearms yet. But with beaks as vicious as theirs, they don't need weapons. A background of twittering and cooing provided by the other birds - smaller, more delicate types that like to parade the skies in huge flocks, swooping from tree to tree. The sounds of the kitchen are always a personal favorite. Kettles filling with water, women's bangles jingling against metal, the occasional sound of something being dropped gently in hot cooking oil. There was construction going on. No violent, vulgar jackhammers. No shrill warning beeps. Just the sound of metal on stone, the patient labour of human hands. After a while the workers began to sing a tuneless work song to time their tugging on some roped contraption. Building a complex of more apartments, for more people. At around 7am, morning had ended, and I went back inside. Those two hours were much needed moments of solitude in my crazy-laughing-working time here.

Friend or Foe?
(horrid pun, I know)

My friend Becky has posted on her blog a short musing about what is up with Friendster. If you don't know what it is, I would say, don't worry about it. The most amusing thing about it is the way it reassures you: "Alaka, XYZ is your friend." Don't go by your actual interactions or anything arbitrary like that. Friendster says we're friends, OK? Just accept it.
I, for one, am very confused about my existence on Friendster. What exactly is it? And WHY is it looking at me like that? Wait, I think it heard me.....heeeeeeelp......

I will probably get run over here. I'm just not sure yet by what. Car, rickshaw, bicycle, motorcycle, scooter, cow, overflowing bus? There are no lanes, rarely sidewalks and never patience. My reckless jaywalking in Boston has its roots here.

I am going today to meet with the director of the NGO I am linking up with here. He had to give me directions according to what time I am meeting him, since at 2pm all the main roads in Calcutta change direction. It's a sudden reversal that causes daily traffic chaos. I am excited about this meeting (since it is ostensibly the reason I am here). Hopefully it will go well, and set the tone for the rest of the summer.

Camera, still not working. I check it once in the morning. It's divine will. No digital pictures, please.

TV is great here - lots of Indian movie-madness, BBC and European sports. I watched European Formula One today. For the first time in a year and a half. I LOVE car racing. I used to be a McLaren fan, but I might be switching to Ferrari, since Mika Hakkinen is no longer around. Cricket will also begin, and of course Wimbledon. Those of you who don't know this about me, will now know that I obsessively follow many sports, when I have the time. I can get very emotional about the value of peaceful competition to humanity. I'm the kind of person who cries a lot during the Olympics. I'm also the kind of person who takes the elevator to the second floor - no fitness for me, thank you. Go figure.

I'm trying to get my hands on Harry Potter, Book V. The kids here are crazy about Harry. Or "potty about Potter" as one newspaper put it. British English is great! And let me tell you, Indian British English is even better.

The rain has it's flip side. The trains are all stopped and the streets are flooded. While most people are joyful to have a break in the 100+degree weather, the rain is also kind of miserable. If you have an umbrella, one's head and shoulders are dry. But one is still wading knee-deep in water that is filthy. The sky is beautiful, though dark. The clouds are fascinating, the interplay of light and dark works really well in this place. Nice to have time to watch the sky.

I'm in India. Typing from an excruciating keyboard that hates humans, in a cybercafe. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm safe and well, and working on getting a better internet situation. Also having trouble accessing my webmail. We'll see.
The monsoon is a godsend...the temperature is completely bearable, and at night the rains are soothing. I am reminded of the true meaning of the phrase "torrential downpour". It's like being inside a carwash. The plane was uneventful, until landing. As we were landing, I looked out the window and saw all the familiar buildings and coconut trees and twinkling lights, through a haze of grey monsoon cloud - and I cried of course. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of this city. To actually be here is overwhelming.
Now let's qualify that all by adding that the crowds, traffic and flooding are highly frustrating. As is the fact that my camera broke this morning. Yes. I hate all gadgets (I hope my Archos didn't hear that). In any case, breaking the camera made me unreasonably upset, and I had to take a moment to remind myself that there might be more important things to do during my visit than annoyingly click at everything. Still, I managed to find a regular old camera that I will try to use, sparingly.
Ok, more later...hope everyone is well. :)

I have turned in my keys to the dorm room. I think I may have taken out enough trash today to rival the amount of stuff I actually packed and stored. I am now lounging about at my friends' apartment, waiting to head to the airport to begin the long journey. First to London, and then to Calcutta. The layover in London is nearly 6 hours. Way too long to spend gazing at overpriced London duty-free items. In the end, what I am most concerned about is the in-flight movie (Perhaps they will show Shanghai Knights, keeping fingers crossed)!

The Google homepage has the cutest theme today. It is apparently M.C. Escher's birthday.

Now I have to pack up my computer for the summer. It only makes me more excited to see it again in August. I wonder if we will feel awkward after so long, or if we'll just rush into each other's arms?

I recommend listening to The Zephyr Song from the latest Red Hot Chilli Peppers album in the morning. If a song could actually jump in your mouth and brush your teeth, this would be it. So fresh, so minty!

Also...while I'm imposing my musical tastes, I suggest listening to Jairamji's latest album - Kindred Spirits. It's like a journey through the foothills of the Himalayas, only not. I can best describe it as Indian-sounding, with beats and flutes and bells and cool sounds/vocals. Very organic. This album is less like toothpaste, and more like a fragrant body oil made of rich herbal extracts. Yes, it's true.

The comments on this blog have so far been much more accurate than the blogger herself. In any case, the Archos jukebox has turned out to be dangerously easy to use. I now have many hours of listening pleasure stored on it. Of course, the excitement is yet to come, in the form of hundreds of digital pictures of Bengal drenched in monsoon (or parched with heat, as the case may be).

For those of you who know that I have been struggling with the consumerist tendencies of our materialistic society, the battle continues. My many possessions continue to dominate me, although most of them are now faceless enemies hidden in boxes. Moving them to storage tomorrow will be a task for Strong Man. Since Strong Man is unavailable tomorrow, as on most other days at the med school, I shall be doing the honors.

My days are now spent convincing friends that they want a third fridge for the summer....or a fourth lamp. I'm going to be the first person to actually break into someone's room so I can leave them something.

Yes, I like italicizing. I know it's annoying.

IT HAS ARRIVED. The Archos Jukebox thingamajig. My electrogadgetron of unparalleled power and majesty.

If ONLY I could get it to work. GAH!

Today I went to Dim Sum with some friends in Boston's Chinatown. Dim Sum is like a festival of food that leaves you with no choice but to go back to bed afterwards. The body is completely overwhelmed by the need to process the enormous amount you have consumed.
My friends are good, and they read my blog regularly. As we walked, they pointed out another flower on the ground. Where do these flowers come from? Why do they insist on leaving their natural habitat and throwing themselves in front of me? Perhaps they think I am a flower goddess. Sadly, I am just a bored student.

My friend Alireza has just commented that my picture of a petal has bird doodoo in it. I have verified that he is correct. That IS bird doodoo on the right. Hey, some people see the flower, and some people see the doodoo. One day this will be a famous psychology test. The Ray Petal Test. "Doctor, her RPT was negative. Must be an optimist."

Now that I have nothing to do, I find that my attention to the small things has magically increased. Yesterday I sat in front of the mirror and made faces at myself for a long time. Also, while walking on the sidewalk, I took a picture of a petal lying on the ground. I actually dropped to my knees and held my camera near the ground. This guy walking behind me made a startled noise. I think the world is safer when my brain is struggling with staying on top of school. Here, however, is a picture I took that reminded me of why humans have been strongly obsessed with flowers for centuries.

I just read this on the BBC, about the plight of Iraqi women after the war. Why is it that hurting women is everyone's favorite way to establish supremacy? Also, it's convenient that the aftermath of the war is not discussed in the mainstream American media. CNN has nothing like this. However, I did find this NYTimes op-ed about dubious intelligence claims in Iraq. Now THAT'S a big surprise.

Just finished my first year of med school (as long as I passed that horrible exam)!!!! No more school for 9 weeks.
Hmm, now what do I do?

Does eating a whole bag of chocolate chip cookies count as studying? Or downloading music? Or reading an amazing book (Leading Consciously, by Debashis Chatterjee)? I think NOT. I am now officially in that stage of pre-examhood when all things either move me to panic or hysterics or excessive hunger. This will soon be followed by a stuporific indifference. Followed, of course, by the exam itself. Usually at the exam, I am so relieved to be done with pre-examhood that I end up inadvertently napping. It's happened more than once. Someday, maybe in another twenty years or so, I'll be done with exams. Maybe.

I did it. I just went online and bought an expensive fun electrogadgetron. It is the Archos Jukebox Multimedia 20GB Photo bundle. It's a bundle of happy is what it is. Now I can take thousands of digital photos and store them while in India. I can also transfer ALL the music on my computer to this mini-joy-machine so I can have a soundtrack over the summer. In fact, the little wonderbox can hook into a TV and display photo/video/movie files. Over time, it will also learn how to tell witty anecdotes that bring me mirth. I can't wait for it to arrive!

I should not be blogging now. I have my last final in my first year of medical school tomorrow. I'm almost excited to take this test. Four days later, I leave for India. On another note, I have recently begun to fear old age. I am very comfortable at 23. It feels right. I have never felt that way about any of the ages I have experienced thus far. After this, I'm afraid it just becomes a process of you digging your heels into the ground, and Time dragging you forward against your will.

The Matrix continues to spawn its own drama in our world. Now, Egypt has banned The Matrix Reloaded. I find their reason fascinating. Aside from the violence (which can't be the main reason, since far more violent films have been made and screened), their reason is the movie's treatment of explicitly religious concepts, like creation and free will. The Egyptian powers that be are worried that the questions posed by this movie are going to substantially disturb the peace. This ties back closely to a conversation I had recently with my friend Jason about the tendency of people to want to protect their religious beliefs from challenge. This might basically be like saying, "NO, I don't want my beliefs to evolve," since stress/tension is an absolute prerequisite for the evolution of ideas. Also, let's face it: the religious traditions that the Matrix draws from are ancient, and they have not crumbled under the attack of enemies far more threatening than Keanu Reeves.

I am leaving my room, to escape my computer. Sometimes when I am away from my room, I find myself thinking, "I wonder what is happening at my computer." Like it's a separate world with events of its own. Can computers eat people? I found a list online of how you know you spend too much time at the computer. My favorite was:

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

Someday, all the walls in our houses will be giant computer screens. And that's how you know you've been eaten by a computer.

Ok, so I'm really tired from reading about bacteria. As I was telling a friend, I also find it depressing. It seems so easy to be desperately ill, and then spread it to your loved ones.

But on a separate note, my friend Elissa showed me a poem that I enjoyed:
The Waking, by Theodore Roethke.
Especially the line: "We think by feeling. What is there to know?"
I spent my whole day trying to know/memorize things. It's good to be reminded that most of the important things cannot be known.

This is the sort of mood where you go on and on. So I'll stop.

I was looking through the National Geographic photographs, as yet another escape from the wily microbes. I came across one of my favorite pictures and thought I'd share it. When I am in the mood to dream impossible dreams, I imagine that I could live here, and sing my days away. Perhaps I could be medicine-woman on the side. People would bring me their illness, and I would grind mysterious herbs to create pungent pastes of pure healing. I would also have mountain goats for milk and cheese. There might even be a documentary about me, in which I am wind-swept and strikingly beautiful. As the camera focuses on my delicate hands pounding the seeds into powder, a flute-song can be heard as soundtrack.
After a few minutes of this, I inevitably begin to wonder if it's possible to have a fast internet connection in the mountains of Bhutan, or even electricity for that matter. And the dream makes a noise like....POP!

The City of Calcutta's Website Why is it that the fact that the city has a website listing many of my favorite spots somehow makes it all seem more real?? The website is pretty much bursting with information. Nothing like this existed until pretty recently. Nice to see my city joining the www.

Also just read on the BBC that the heat wave on the subcontinent has reached massive proportions. There is little water, and there are thousands with heat stroke. Apparently one village has taken to following a smart bear around. The bear is digging for water, and the villagers are drinking from what's left. A man in Andhra Pradesh, a southern state in India, has been covering his appliances with wet cloth to keep the plastic from twisting in the heat. That reminds me of when my family and I drove cross country in India. I left a cassette on the dashboard of the car, and the sun mangled it. Meanwhile in Boston, it is now June and most nights still require a sweatshirt, and we have had much rain. Natives here are longing for sunrays to make them tan. My development friends were right - it's all about unequal distribution.

I feel compelled to announce my blog to people. It's like I'm marrying the internet. Most people think it's brave to write on the internet. But seriously, have you ever looked out there? The standards are NOT that high. And it's not like I ever plan to write about anything that matters. As far as being interesting is concerned, after reading this, I'm not too worried.

I'm reading about enteric pathogens. It's making me more and more paranoid about being at a tropical microbe fest for 8 weeks. At least I'll know what I have when I have it. By the way, I just read that the monsoons have arrived in India. They tend to start in the south and move upwards like a smoothly programmed sprinkler. By the time I get to Cal (short for Calcutta), the rain will be close on my heels. For those of you who are wondering where I am going to be (look to the East, next to Bangladesh)
Let's see...what is Cal famous for...Mother Teresa lived there. Also, another Nobel Laureate, Rabindranath Tagore - my favorite poet and the undying obsession of all Bengalis. Here he is with Einstein, talking about music
Here is my favorite:

Stream of Life

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth
in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth
and of death, in ebb and in flow.
I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.

And another gem:

Mind Without Fear

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up
into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason
has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action---
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

My friend Michael, who knows infinitely more about all computer and web related things, has just come over and approved the colors on the site. I like Michael. He is a good cook. And a good web guy. If anyone out there cares, you can let me know what you think of the colors. Ok, now he has left, and I continue to tinker with the shades. Work avoidance!!

10 days to liftoff

In a little over a week I will board an airplane for Kolkata. 8 weeks of irregular contact with good friends seems like a good opportunity to try blogging. Also, HTML is fun! Weird that people might actually read this without me knowing. Ok, back to microbiology, packing, storage.....and of course avoiding all of that.